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10 Tips To Be A More Effective Parent In The Digital Age: NPR



 Parents on their phones.

Katherine Streeter for NPR
        
    

 Parents on their phones.

Katherine Streeter for NPR
            
        

Anya Kamenetz is a NPR education correspondent, a host of Life Kit and author of The Art of Screen Time . Parenting: Screen Time And Your Family .

Elise Potts picked up her 17-month-old daughter, Eliza, from daycare recently.

"My husband … he's waving his arms around like a crazy man." Potts says. "He has these things in his hands, he has a black box on his face … and [Eliza] looks and she points, all confused, and she says, 'Daddy?'

Daddy, it turned out, had a new Oculus virtual reality headset.

Potts, who lives in Seattle, can not help but wonder what her daughter is making of all the digital technology that surrounds her. Eliza's reaction, she says, is "really cute, but it's terrifying because I think it's from her perspective."

It's a good question. Jenny Radesky, who sees patients at the University of Michigan and is one of the top researchers in the field of parents, children and new media

"The telephone has decades to reach 50 million global users, and we had Pokemon Go do that within, like, two and a half weeks," Radesky says.

Most of us feel like we're failing, at least at times, to manage the competing bids for attention that come from work, kids, partners, and from our digital devices.

What do you want to do?

Most of us would like to have dinner with you with headphones in, let alone a VR headset. Dubbed "technoference."

For Potts, like many parents, this is a point of contention. [my husband] wants to get a notification on this phone, and he thinks as long as he puts the phone out of [Eliza’s] eyesight that's OK. "" It just really drives me crazy. "

Radesky recently published. Radesky's study suggests it could be dangerous.

If glancing at the phone is more or less unconscious habit, as Radesky's study suggests, it could be dangerous.

But Radesky has insights about the more subtle, emotional effects of this dynamic – what she calls the "micro-interactions" among parents, kids, and screens.

Stop using the phone as a pacifier – for you or your kid.

Potts frets over this situation with her daughter: "We're on a bus, we've been out for a while, and we're going home meltdown … So I pull out the phone. "

She wants to know," Is that a bad thing? "

Radesky says this is incredibly common. [1969013] and by their parents.

[0005] By following families over time, they have a bi-directional flow between parents 'screen use and kids' emotional issues, tantrums and acting out, or conversely, becoming more withdrawn.

The more stressed parents

Radesky.

Radesky.

Rad, the more parents turn to screens for themselves or their kids, the more their kids tend to act out add that when you check out your phone in a tough moment, you know that it can help you make a better parenting experience.

"We need to be watching, listening, and gathering evidence so we can respond in

  • Use apps like Moment or Screen Time to track your screen and block the phone from working at times – like during dinner. [19659036] Keep it out of sight and out of mind: Create a charging station near the front door;
  • Here's How To Pick The Best Kids Apps For Family Vacations “/>

But life is not perfect, and sometimes we need to be in two places at once.

  • Narrate what you are doing, says researcher danah boyd.
  • Wait for moments your kids are truly engaged and happy doing something else. "Let's check the weather to see what you should wear to school," for instance, or "Let's ask Mom to pick up milk on her way home from work."
  • If you are in the habit of using a screen to calm your child, instead try a short video or audio track that teaches more mindful calming techniques. Radesky suggests to Elmo "belly breathing" video from Sesame Street. GoNoodle has similar videos targeted to older kids.

Before you post a picture or share a story about your kids on social media, think twice and get their permission if possible.

Stacy Steinberg, a law professor at the University of Florida, believes we should think twice about this behavior, which she calls "sharenting."

Steinberg specializes in children's rights. She's also a photographer and mother of three, and she's started to wonder "

Steinberg wants parents to consider the well-being of their own

  • Check your privacy settings on all social media sites .
  • Give this video a shout out loud!
  • Give this video a shout out loud!
  • Do not openly share personally identifiable information about your children, like their faces, names, birthdays or exact addresses. That can expose you to data brokers, who build profiles and sell them to marketers; or to hackers, who can afford fraudulent accounts and spoil kids' credit before they start kindergarten.

For example, after her 8-year-old's gymnastics meet, Steinberg put the laptop on the kitchen counter so they could look through photos together

This is a best practice for a few reasons, she says.

So, it's a great way of role-modeling respectful behavior and good judgment on social media. It protects kids' privacy and helps them stay connected to friends and family. Kids need to learn how to interact with them.

Do not use technology to stalk your children.

Apps like Find My iPhone at all times.

Devorah Heitner, a parent educator and the author of Screenwise You may also check their browser history, look up grades, read their group chats and text them all day long. , says, "When our kids feel trusted, they often will make better decisions if they do not feel trusted, because we're not encouraging them to feel like they're needing to be or deceptive."

Ultimately we are raising adults who wants to grow up and make their own choices.

  • When your children turn 13 and get their own social media accounts, write down their passwords and put them in a sealed envelope.
  • Researcher danah boyd, author of It's Complicated : The Social Lives of Networked Teens as they say, "They're getting on on high school, it's good to recruit trusted people in their network – older siblings." , cousins, family friends, or aunts – to follow them and so keep an eye out.

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