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Ask Amy: A 20 year old girlfriend has spooked me and now she is joining my church in relationships



Dear Amy, Two years ago, a very close friend of 20 years cast a spell on me. I called her, sent a text message and sent an e-mail and did not receive a reply. When I came across her weeks later and asked for an explanation, she said, "You do not have to apologize." However, she could not write a statement because "it was too horrible and hurtful."

For me, her statement objected that I had nothing to excuse. There was no incident before the Ghosting, so I really did not know why she behaved like that.

She concluded with the words, "I think we should go our separate ways."

I stopped attending a series of performances that she, a mutual friend, and I were together because it's a small audience, and to see her would hurt me. She went on and got the impression that this problem is solved.

Since then I have met her a couple of times. She did not seem ashamed. I feel terrible.

Now she joins my church, so I'll meet her from time to time. When she joins the church she knows I'm visiting, she does not seem awkward.

I would rather not acknowledge them when I see them, but that seems inappropriate in the church. I've been thinking of talking to a clergyman, but I expect the lawyer to be forgiven. Maybe I will not forgive when I'm upset again, but she was not in my thoughts until the expectation of seeing her came up.

When I stay away from church events, I behave like a guilty person. but I do not know what I was guilty of.

But I do not want to interact with her, no conversation during the coffee hour. So, Amy, how do I deal with it?

Hurt Ghosted Friend

Dear Hurt: Do not avoid counseling clerics just because you expect what you hear ̵

1; pursue it.

You must find a way to handle this. Your former friend was rude when he dropped you so suddenly and refused to explain.

You should be honest with her now. Tell her, "I admit to being very hurt and confused about your behavior towards me. I try to forgive you for dismissing me and I want to continue, but your refusal to talk about why you quit the friendship made it even harder for me to keep going. They were simply telling their truth without expecting any particular answer or result, and then, yes, you are working on forgiveness, forgiveness is a personal and spiritual challenge forgiving will free you and deepen your practice of faith.

My theory – worth it – is that she (not you) did something unethical or deeply embarrassing, and that she would rather bury it than worry about it

Dear Amy: I was recently invited to lunch for my birthday.

On the way back, my friend said, "Next time it's your turn!" [19659002] Am I old-fashioned or was That's really inappropriate?

Bemused's Birthday

Dear Bemused: I do not think your friend's exclamation was really inappropriate – just chunky, ideally Screenplay has been turned over.

After the meal, you would have thanked your friend and exclaimed, "Next time I am!" the generosity or your gratitude for it.

Dear Amy: The letter from "Nervous Nelly", which describes her postpartum fear, was very well received by me.

Unlike Nervous Nelly, I was never worried until I had my child.

Some days I could not even leave the house with him because I was consumed with fear. Trying to ask other mothers if they ever felt that way led to side eyes and incredulous looks, and I felt very lonely.

I urge Nervous Nelly to seek professional help. Therapy in combination with an antidepressant saved my life and made me a safer and happier mother!

She is definitely not alone!

No more nervous

Dear, not anymore: When I answered this question, I described my own struggle with postpartum fear. One of the most challenging aspects of this experience was the shame that I did not feel "normal", "natural" or even maternal.

Other parents who had never experienced this made me worse. Thankfully, my own mother – and my partner – were so compassionate with me at the time. My own fear gradually subsided, but yes – any woman experiencing this should definitely go on with the treatment immediately.

askamy@amydickinson.com


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