Dear Amy, my husband and I are raising four children.
There has been a piercing rule for many years.
Our daughters had to wait until they were 12 to prick their ears.  We felt that this was an age when they were somehow responsible for taking care of their ears. Each of our daughters has decided to prick their ears.
Our 19 year old daughter now wants a second piercing.
I kind of agreed, but my husband is not.
That admitted that this piercing was only a beginning and there would be others.
This tactic annoyed me because I'm not a fan of several piercings.
I sold Hep C treatments and knew that unsafe piercing still carries risks. [1
Is it wrong for us to say that when she moves out and feeds herself, she can do what she wants, but while she's living at home, would we appreciate her respecting our views?
– Concerned Parents
Dear Sirs, If your daughter lives at home, you and her husband can set any restrictions you want … as long as you like, you do not mind telling her that as long as DU is with you, you have control over her decisions regarding her. b ody.
I do not think this is a positive message to a young woman. Perhaps your emphasis on these limitations is one reason why your daughter wants to push her.
The advantage of piercings over tattoos, for example, is that they are relatively easy to undo. The Center for the Health of Young Women (youngwomenshealth.org) has a comprehensive list of possible medical complications related to piercing. I suggest that you and your daughter read this information together when you talk about it.
Her daughter is training as a nurse. As she matures, she will understand the occupational restrictions that piercings bring, and she can then keep or remove them according to her goals.
Dear Amy, I have a best friend. I also have a friend. My friend teaches in a city over 2,000 miles away. He visits and stays with me every summer.
He sometimes says things that sound like he thinks I override my relationship with my best friend.
I see my friend once a week for breakfast (we both work a lot) and when my friend visits me, my boyfriend and I still have breakfast every week, but in shorter form.
My best friend is married to a man who lives with her all year, and I understand that my husband has only about four months a year to spend with me, so time is short ,
I include this restriction in my breakfast with my girlfriend, but she has literally saved my life (or at least my mental health) on several occasions and maintaining the friendship is important to me.
Is there a way to prove to my friend that I appreciate our relationship and take it very seriously, without feeling that I am establishing a friendship that means a lot to me?
– Wondering Friend
Dear Friend: Your question appeals to me because (except I travel) I have been meeting with the same group of women in a local restaurant for breakfast every Wednesday morning for 30 years.
If you work hard and have an active home life, this could be a breakfast meeting. Be the only time you have to put your own life into perspective by telling your story. This weekly experience invites and refreshes you. It is therapeutic.
According to you, you are already making concessions to your friend by cutting your breakfast dates.
If he is so inactive in the summer that he bothers to spend about 90 minutes a week with your friend friend, then he may need to get busier.
If he asks your right – and your need – for it, you could ask him to vote for you: you can meet with your friend once a week or enter therapy.
Dear Amy, A reader asked how he should react if offered a dish he does not like. My answer is, "Wow, that's very interesting!" People rarely push for details. It can be applied to situations such as ugly children, pets, recent vacation photos, bizarre clothing, etc. Works for me!
– Jovial Joe in Or-lan-do
Dear Jovial Joe: I have used this phrase. It was also applied to me. I agree that only a fool would ask for more details.
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