DEAR CAROLYN: My dad is angry that I have my daughter's birthday party with my mother, although we are currently living with her to save money for a down payment of . My parents divorced when I was about 10 years old, and things between my parents were bitter for years.
Nowadays, they are usually in order and even exchange small talk about the grandchildren at family events.
After divorce, my dad spooked us For years, my sisters and I have not been as close to him as our mother or even our stepfather, but now that we're back in touch, we're all trying to lose time compensate.
My daughter turns 3, so we just want an unobtrusive, inexpensive party. Mom's home has a large open plan kitchen / dining area that seems to be perfect. We only invite family members, and my nieces and nephews are all pretty young, so this seems to be the best for them as well.
When I told my father the plans, he said, "If your parents are divorced and remarried. It's only fair to hold such events in a neutral location. "I've looked at it, but it will cost more to have it elsewhere. He offered to join in, but not enough to cover the difference. I explained that, but my dad hurts a lot and says it is an insult to my stepmother, who has always been very nice to us.
If I relocated the party, I could find the extra money by cutting out our tiny entertainment fund for the next few months, which makes my husband unhappy. I can not dive into our savings. No matter what I do, someone will be unhappy. Should I change location or stand firm, even though my father threatens not to come?
DEAR PLANNER: Your father behaves like a child. I'm so sorry. The script writes, "If you let your little kids go crazy with their mother for years after the divorce and then try to make up for lost time when they grow up, it's the only right thing to think about small annoyances like a party at your ex. «
I do not suggest you say that aloud; Neutral and uncomplicated is your best behavior here. "I'm sorry to hear that, dad, but we stick to our plan and hope you come." I wrote the script just as a mental walkthrough to help you deal with guilt.
Regarding: "No matter what I do, that someone will be unhappy." Um, yes, everywhere with everything.
The birthday party is not actually in the house of the mother, it is at home with Planner and the daughter The fact that the mother happens to own it and lives there is simply a matter of finance.
DEAR SB: Good catch, thanks.
It also gives me a chance to harass the dad for using his wife as a prop, the site offends them? Please.
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