DEAR ABBY: My sister "Blanche" and her husband moved to the small town where my husband and I settled down 23 years ago. Blanche is 11 years older than me. My husband and I like our space, but we spend time with them. You are retired, but we are still working.
In the last three years, they have not made friends with friends in the city. You are now contacting my friends because we do not go out more often on weekdays and see them several times a week. Honestly, it is a wedge between us all – my family and my friends I am very resentful that they can not find their own friends. Am I wrong? ̵
LOVE TO FIND: Feeling vicious is a waste of time and energy. They can not control the social life of other adults and should not expect this. Her sister did not kidnap these people, so they have to volunteer to socialize with each other. This is not a competition. Your friends are still your friends. You will be happier if you try to overcome your insecurity.
LOVE ABBY: I love to cook. It is my passion. The problem is, when I cook for people who come for dinner, my wife likes to try the food before they arrive. What really upsets me is when I make a cake or something that has to be served as a whole. She cuts in and it looks like I'm serving leftover food. It is annoying.
For me, the presentation is important. She could not care less. If I mark it as "not eating" or hide the food, then I am "wrong" or "go too far". Help! – FOOD FIGHT IN NEW YORK
DEAR F.F .: Of course, the presentation is important. Ask yourself why your wife purposely does something to ruin the meals you prepare for the company. Could it be jealousy that you are the center of attention?
What she does is reckless and disrespectful. If she is so hungry that she can not control herself, she can immediately make a peanut butter sandwich or peel a banana even faster. Because you have to go so far as to hide the dishes that you do not want to try, I do not have to agree with your wife. They do not go too far at all. Put your foot!
LOVE ABBY: My best friend since childhood, "Jeff," died eight months ago; He was in a 57-year marriage. I know his still attractive widow "Della" since she's just married. I have been divorced for decades.
I have long admired Della out of respect for Jeff from afar. It helped that over the years we have lived in different states. I think she felt my admiration for her.
How long should I wait until I can show my interest in her as a potential partner in our golden years? – WISHFUL IN THE EAST
LOVE WISHFUL: Did you turn to Della for condolence when you learned of Jeff's death? If not, do it NOW. When she answers, you call a phone call – and possibly a visit to her community and a dinner, if she agrees. If you are in regular contact with her, you can determine if these are mutual interests.
TO MY IRISH READER: Happy St. Patrick's Day!
"Want what you want
" The least you can get.
"May the best times you ever had
be the worst you'll ever see. "
Love Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne, Phillips and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips, contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 , Los Angeles, CA 90069.