LOVE ABBY: My girlfriend "Crystal" recently dumped me. We were absolutely in love, and she would constantly send me a message telling me how perfect I was. She did not deserve anyone as amazing as me and as I am the only one she wants in her life. We talked about the relationship, the marriage and our future.
Then a well-known creeping with shady past suddenly offered her a job in another state. Crystal's family, friends and I told her not to accept the job or talk to this guy because he has bad news. She took the job, moved across the country and left us all.
She has cut me from her life now. I have not heard from her, and her mother told me that she occasionally checks in with her family. My question is what I have missed. I know that Crystal has always been tough on her own and thought she would not do enough with her life, but I calmed and encouraged her all the time.
I think this guy has manipulated her and made her think that this was her last chance in the career she was looking for. I'm afraid she will learn a hard lesson and be drastically disappointed. Is there anything we can do to help her see that? ̵
Dear Sir: No, I am sorry to say that this is not the case. They did not miss anything. you were misled Crystal told you that she wanted to have a future with you when the truth was really a career and you were Plan B. There is an old adage: "There are always bad pennies." If the man who hired them is so dodgy you say he is, she will come back. And I hope you will have developed for a long time.
LOVE ABBY: I'm 28 years old and recently found my biological dad on Facebook after not knowing for 20 years if he was still alive. Although I'm glad I found him, I'm scared to let my family – my mother, stepfather and sisters – know I'm back with him.
When I asked my dad years ago (myself had a picture of him), my stepfather felt betrayed and annoyed that I was even curious. I had to rip the picture because I felt so guilty that my stepfather was hurt.
I know that my stepfather manipulates the situation (that's the way he is right now) and tempts my sisters and mother to stop talking to me. On the other hand, I want to establish a relationship with my dad and start where we left off. I have two beautiful daughters that I know he would like to meet, but I'm scared because I know this will be shared by my family. What should I do? ANONYMUS IN THE WEST
LOVE ANONYMUS: I wish you had revealed why your biological father had not visited you for over 20 years. Whose decision was it – his? Your mother her? If it was your birth father, I would question his character.
That is, at the ripe old age of 28, you are an adult and should have the right to decide who you want to contact without compulsion. You should not feel guilty if you want to get to know your birth father. These feelings are normal. It will not divide your family if you shut up and your privacy is separate.
Love Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.