Despite the fact that some 450 million people worldwide suffer from a mental illness, the stigma of mental health problems persists, according to the World Health Organization. Try to remove this stigma, it could feel like every step we take would bring something into the process and we'll go back two steps. Because of this stigma, sometimes people who have a mental health problem refuse to acknowledge it. And if it is a loved one, especially a parent, we have to deal with it.
"[You need to] Remember that personal growth in being able to see yourself is a personal journey," Dr. Carolina Castaños, founder of MovingOn, Bustle. "It's something that every one of us has to do ourselves, at our own time and when we're ready, this is one of those things you can not do for your lover and you can not force them … it has to be If you are too direct, you will meet their defenses and they will push back. "
It is important to proceed with caution, cautiousness, and an open mind and heart when talking to a parent about a health problem you are thinking that they have nothing to do with it. Here are seven tips on how to do that, according to experts.
Come up with a plan
As much as you are frustrated and even worried about your parents, you can not just talk directly to them about their mental health issues. They do not want them to feel attacked in any way. When people are pushed into the corners, they either hit or run into the mountains.
"Imagine how you feel when someone gives you advice or feedback that you did not seek." Dr. Leslie Beth Wish, psychotherapist and author of Smart Relationships: How Successful Women Can Find True Love Bustle tells. "Most of us feel one or all of the following: a sinking feeling, anger, and defiance. The words, thank you, seldom come to mind. Now imagine how your love might react when you stand up for it a heart set to heart and say things that include some or all of the following: "It's for your good." "You know that I love you and would never hurt you." "I'm worried about your behavior . "
Instead of talking to your parents without a plan, it is wise to prepare for what you want to convey and how you do it.
2 Keep a journal of her behavior
If you have incidents with dates and times, it will be difficult for your parents to argue with you. Evidence that has been tagged and kept contains much more water than random top-down events.
"Include all incidents that may have triggered the response [their]," says Dr. Wish. "Write down how long the reaction lasted. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 high, the intensity of the reaction." Give details about the reaction, such as: slammed the door and left for half an hour, or cried , or threw a glass vase against the wall, threatening me, yelling at the children;
3 Sit down with a professional
"Make an appointment just for you with a licensed psychiatrist Dr. Wish says, "Your goal is to learn about [their] disorder. Bring your journal. Ask for advice on how to handle it. Ask your family doctor for a referral or search the American Psychological Association or National Association of Social Workers. Call her and ask for help finding a therapist in your area.
Even if you think you know exactly what type of mental health problems your parents are having, take time to talk to an expert, yes, the internet can open our eyes and expose many truths, but a psychiatrist like a diary holds more water than to say, "Well, mom, after the internet …"
4 Do your research
"Locally search for organizations, dealing with your parents' problems, such as alcoholism, suicide, depression, or drug abuse, "says Dr. Wish.
That way, when your parent is ready, you do not have to look for resources, you'll have them on hand to help give them to your parents if they ask.
5 Consider talking to your other parent
"Having learned as much as possible about your parents' problems and about it I wonder if you can trust yourself in your [other] parent, "Dr. Wish. "Sometimes [they] may be denying or feeling too disloyal to" rock "the family boat by angering [their] spouse / partner."
Since Dr. Wish points out that treating family mental health problems is not something you should do alone, ask your other parents to get involved. Ideally, they want to help where they can, as opposed to turning a blind eye. However, it is clear that the blind eye approach is a real possibility.
6 Sign up with another adult family member
If your other parent does not want to connect with you or has no relationship with them, then it's you. Maybe you consider reaching out to other family members or close friends of the family. Even if your other parent is on board, you might want some extra support.
"Think about which adults in your family, like your aunts or uncle, could bring you into their confidence," says Dr. Wish. "Think of people your parents or parents trust the most, or maybe your parents have a very close friend whom he or she trusts, and are there any professionals or doctors in the family whom you trust and respect?"
7 Create A Team
"The goal is to create a team of trusted and respected adults in the family or close friends who are ready to talk to their parents – or being part of an intervention, "says Dr. Wish.
Although the paper looks like it's pulling you all together, there's strength in numbers. If your parents can see how many people are affected and ready to fight for them, it will certainly be even more effective.
Talking about mental health is never easy. And that is certainly the case when you have to talk to someone who is struggling with a mental health problem that they are not dealing with. But, like Dr. Wish suggests that if you have a plan and a support system, you're more likely to have a discussion of success than just wing it.