LOVE CAROLYN: I work regularly, but only occasionally with a man I'm 99 percent in love with.
I have no romantic interests outside of my marriage and he seems happily married too. I think it's just a harmless swarm (and I think he thinks he hides it a lot better than he does). But he looks very good, has it professionally together, and I really like him, and it just feels good to know that I've sparked a small spark of crushed feelings from someone who's new.
My question is, can I only enjoy myself until it burns itself?
Enjoy being crushed
The ice is getting thin very fast.
Re: Crushed on
Not to burst your bladder, but to look good People can sometimes be subversive and funny at people who think they are have a crush on her. Is there a chance he gives the same charm to others in the office? Better just stay professional.
DE-BUBBLER: Ew. OK.
I think it's fine to enjoy that you're able to evoke a crush from someone who looks nice and good, though You should try not to enjoy actual attention, flirting, etc. Always act in a way that makes you feel good when your husband bears witness.
DEAR CAROLYN: I got engaged last month (yay!) And my fiancé and I start planning our wedding. He cares more about the most details and takes the lead. I agree, but it starts as if he's planning a wedding that reflects the things that matter to him, and I'm hardly part of it.
For example, he identifies very strongly with the alumni community of his alma mater – he wants to celebrate the wedding in a function room on his college campus, decorated in school colors and featuring a variety of college traditions. I did not go to school and I do not identify with it, even if I do not mind.
If I'm not willing to take the lead in planning, I'm too busy to do that, and just not interested – that means I'm unable to see myself in the image of the wedding to "see" when it happens?
Of course not. You definitely have the right to complain about some details, but website, emphasis and sound are not details. Instead of saying it, just say the following: Say, you're grateful that he takes the lead in a way you did not even want, but you also want the end result to be your life together – and the inclination to be with Alma Mater you feel like a spectator in your own life event. Of course, replace mine here with your words and feelings.
Marriage means that you have declared this person to be your partner and equals, and if you feel that you can not tell him what you really mean, then it is not really your partner and equal.
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