There is no more perfect food than spicy, crunchy, salty, starchy fries.
They are the perfect cleanser for the palate for a greasy burger dish, a non-committal mixture of ground beef or roast chicken.
French fries, however, are as short-lived as perfect. I would not want my worst enemy to catch a cold, become flabby and wet. Of all fast-food brothers, the fish lives the fastest and dies the hardest.
For this reason, we have fries from eight fast-food chains – Arby's, Dairy Queen, Five Guys, Wendy's, Chick-Fil-A, Shake Shack, McDonald's, and Burger King-in a taste test against each other played Battle Royale.
The rules are simple: A standard order of medium fries from each restaurant. No spices. French fries are sampled in the restaurants to ensure consistency.
The rating criterion is based on a scale of one to five in four categories:
- Crunchy: Is the fish wrapped in a golden bowl of pore-free crisp, or is it limp and lifeless?
- Taste: A fry should taste good potato, good oil and good salt. Fish flavors? Carton? No.
- Mouthfeel: Smooth, gritty, tough? Structurally sound?
- Salt: A top score is a perfectly salted french fries. Everything over or under loses points.
May the best win.