LOVE AMY: My parents are the best. Like the best. Imagine the mother sending spontaneous cards and grooming packages, and the father checking your oil.
They've always supported me emotionally, mentally, and emotionally Also, financially, when I was in college. I live every day in gratitude for their love and the life they have been able to give to my brother and me.
Even though I am now in my 30s, married and having a great career, they are still trying to take care of me. If we go out for dinner, they still try to pay the bill, even if they visit me. This usually ends in a fight for the check at the end of the meal. My goodness – the poor waiters and waitresses who have to come to terms with us at the end of the meal (it's not really a fight, it's more like a comedy trying to hide the other person's wallet).
That's not such a big deal in itself, but in a couple of weeks we'll move in with my parents temporarily for three to six months, so we can buy / build a house near them because the My father's health wears off.  I have addressed the subject of pay rent or take over the food and utilities, but they will hear nothing about it!
Amy, how do I get my parents to realize that they have brought up a responsible daughter, successful and quite able to not only care for themselves, but in return to show my appreciation for them? And that I would feel uncomfortable, as if I would hold up my parents even for a short time?
Daughter in a Dilemma
LOVE DAUGHTER: Your people may never be able to accept money from you, but you should do your best to serve them while They live in their house. For example, if your mom insists on cooking everything (I suppose that would be), you and your husband should clean up everything. You should consider whether you can take on some of the driving and buying, eg. B. go to the doctor and pick up food for the household. If your mother gives you a list, you may actually be able to pay for something.
You and your husband should also ensure that you have a set schedule that you are not home to (such as a regular appointment) night ") so that your people can retreat into their own habits.
Accept the size of your parents with grace. Love her with equal abundance. If your father's health continues to fail, you will be asked to move forward in all possible ways – and you will.
DEAR AMY: Do you have any advice on how to get people to understand that? If I say I'm not listening well, does that mean I can not understand what they say?
I've lost the number of times I've explained why I'm not on the phone – just to be confronted with the words, "OK. When can you make a call? "
I'm almost ready to say," Hey, MORON, I can not hear anything on the phone! "T say it, but sure do think it.
I only communicate by SMS or e-mail, but others refuse to accept me.
Am I treating this wrong?
Hard of hearing
LOVE HEARING: You can not hear, and it seems that others can not hear – or maybe they also have trouble hearing your answers.
Also understand that some people did not hear the transition to SMS and e-mail. You will not understand or accept your solutions.
You may be luckier if you rephrase your answers: "I have a severe hearing loss and can not talk on the phone." Are you ready to send text messages or e-mails? "If you conclude your statement with a" questions ", you are accused.
Since you're apparently ready to use technology, I wonder if there are adaptive technologies that help alleviate your hearing loss for easier communication. You should take care of it.
LOVE AMY: "In a dilemma" another parent described as a "helicopter parent". I was relieved that you saw through that and realized that both parents were floating!
DEAR FAN: I thought it was great that this seventh-grader mastered his complicated way to school alone. I hope his parents withdraw and leave him.
You can email Amy Dickinson to [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.