DEAR AMY: My partner and I are currently house-and-sitting for my parents.
We just moved into this house recently. We manage to clean the house and make it presentable, except for the kitchen.
Our trash can was so full (trash day was the day after we left), so there were two bags of non-food trash by the back door.
Obviously, we've come to realize that we are the jerks in this situation. We know we should have left a clean house.
Our friend is absolutely livid. She went off on my partner via text.
I said I was aware that I was paying attention to the problem, and the offer of payment was to
Personally, I think that's angry about some dirty dishes after.
Personally, I think that's pretty annoying A week might be overreacting, but I can not be sure because I'm feeling so defensive about it.
I do not know what this face-to-face conversation is going to look like.
Dirty House Owner
DEAR OWNER: I'm not sure why you're waiting with bated breath for this face-to-face showdown.
I take it that your friend has unloaded via text, and you have responded in kind, but on an actual phone (or Skype) call is less passive (read: chicken), and you and your partner would be able to talk to each other, rather than responding to venting .
Tell us, "We appreciate what you are doing and we feel terrible about the condition of the house. Everything was going on at the last minute and we're so sorry. How are things going now? Do you have any questions? "
If you have already offered to pay, follow through.
After this effort, you should take care of yourself. She will either accept this, forgive you, and move on – or she will not.
"Dissociating" during a conversation should not be an option for you. That's what toddlers do. Take this out of your playbook.
DEAR AMY: You seem to think we should all just get along.
It is not possible to have a rational conversation with people who support a racist, mentally unstable, mean-spirited administration.
As a retired fireman, I worked for 25 years with people who were mostly conservative, some of whom I have 20 years of age.
They are immune to reason and even to truth. I have and have made an issue with them. Not one has changed their minds.
DEAR FRUSTRATED: I commend you for trying.
We seem to be living in an era of cognitive dissonance.
I do not believe in the power of friendship and community change.
DEAR AMY: I love the letter from "Daughter in a dilemma."
What a refreshing and affirmative question! That's repayment enough.
DEAR GRATEFUL: It's nice to read about high-functioning families. 19659032] You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.