The race also affects the parents' worries. Ms. Jones said that as the parent of black boys, she chose to raise her in a predominantly black neighborhood so that she would be less racist, even though it meant driving on to many activities.
This is common among black middle-class mothers, found Dawn Dow, a sociologist at the University of Maryland, whose book "Mothering While Black: Limits and Burdens on Middle-Class Parenting" appears in February. "They make decisions to protect their children from their first experiences of racism," said Ms. Dow. "It's another variety of concerns that are just as intense."
The growing backlash
Experts agree that investing in children is a positive thing – they benefit from spending time with their parents, stimulating activities and supportive parenting styles. As low-income parents spend their time teaching and reading their children, the readiness gap between rich and poor families has diminished. With increasing parental supervision, most serious crimes against children have declined significantly.
However, it is also unclear how much the success of children is actually determined by parenting.
"It is still an open question, whether it is the educational practice itself that makes the difference, or is it just grown up with university-educated parents in an environment that is richer in many dimensions?" Liana Sayer said , A sociologist from the University of Maryland and director of the Time Use Laboratory there. "I do not think any of these studies have yet been able to answer whether these kids would still perform well as adults, just because of resources."
Against the intransigence of today, a growing movement has developed. Utah passed a parenting law in the field, where parents are exempt from charges of neglect if they let their children play or commute unsupervised.
Psychologists and others have raised warnings about the high degree of stress and dependency of children and their parents and the need to develop independence, self-reliance and aspirations . Studies have shown that children with extremely affected parents are more anxious and less content with life, and that when children play unattended, they develop social skills, emotional maturity, and executive functions.
Parents, especially mothers, feel stressed, exhausted and guilty when it comes to becoming parents, especially when they have a job. American time-use diaries show that the time women spend educating is at the expense of sleep, time alone with their partners and friends, leisure and housework. Some interrupt their careers or do not choose children. Others, like Ms. Sentilles, live in a state of anxiety. She does not want to float, she said. She tries to oversee the homework, limit screen time, and meet Isaac's needs. She has no choice.
"At any moment, everything could just fall apart," she said.
"On the one hand, I love my work," she said. "But as it is structured in this country, where there is not really child care and it feels that something is wrong, if you are not with your children every single second, when you are not working, I do not think feminists thought that they had registered for it. "