Every week in this NFL season, we will be celebrating the electric games, investigating the colossal mistakes and explaining the inexplicable moments of the recent slate. Welcome to winners and losers. Which one are you?
Winner: Any team in the NFL except the New England Patriots
The Patriots bled on Sunday. And yes, it was real human blood, with platelets and DNA and mitochondria and all the stuff that indicates it's from a living being that is capable of failing and dying.
New England entered the game unbeaten against Baltimore on Sunday night and was recognized as the potentially best defense in football history. In eight games, enemy offenses had scored only four touchdowns against New England. In one game, the Ravens have reached this sum and scored four offensive touchdowns in a 37:20 victory. Three of these touchdowns included Lamar Jackson, whose slicing and cutting caused most of the cuts that made the pats bleed:
The ravens did the work locally. Baltimore already led the NFL at a furious pace with 1
The Patriots benefited so far from a schedule with Backload. The first eight teams they beat on their way to an 8-0 record have a combined record of 17:40. And when the best team in the NFL plays the simplest schedule in the NFL, it'll be funny. New England had scored more touchdowns for defensive / special teams than they had allowed, and had won five times 20 points in eight games. The Ravens were their first big test, and more will follow. In the next five games, they play against three teams currently leading their divisions.
Sunday night's game is no guarantee that the Patriots are flawed or doomed to failure. Sure, the Patriots could not stop the Ravens, but the Ravens' offense is different from everyone else in the NFL, and New England has plenty of time to figure out what went wrong and get better equipped to win if they do play again in the NFL playoffs. But Sunday night proved that an opponent with the right talent and the right schedule can beat New England – and when I started Sunday night, I was not sure that was true.
Loser: Adam Gases
Imagine you lose to a team that fired you. It must be a brutal experience, as when you meet your ex while you run around with your rebound, unless they smile and laugh with their attractive, stylish counterpart while your sweatpants obviously ignore you to talk about something on their phone wipe .
But on Sunday Adam Gases experienced an even deeper embarrassment: he lost to a team that fired him … and tries to lose. Gases was the head coach of the Miami Dolphins last year, and his 23-25 record for Miami shows how awful the team was – yes, it was almost 500, but 18 of those 25 losses were double digits. They fired gases and stayed behind with a team that was so mediocre that they decided to start all over again. Most of their talented players were exchanged for draft picks, leaving a barren team. On Sunday, the dolphins were 0-7, and many expected them to go 0-16. After all, they had the worst point difference in seven games in a team in NFL history.
For some reason, the jets stopped gassing earlier this year. (I was not sure why they did this at the time and I'm not sure.) Things went bad when the jets started 1-6 on Sunday and committed the worst offense in the NFL. (Mind you, Gases is supposedly an offensive specialist.)
On Sunday, the Dolphins were the better team, and not nearly. Miami celebrated its first win 26-18, but that's not really a win. Miami put on 21-7 in the first half and spent most of the remainder of the game by a multiple lead. All lowlights came from New York: Here's Sam Darnold, the No. 3 pick in last year's draft, panicking and throwing a ball to grab Miami's goal line:
After two points with less than 10 minutes left before the end Jets take possession of the ball and gave away points by snatching the ball out of the end zone. For safety:
They've upset the defense: Here's the Dolphins receiver Preston Williams, who is completely unguarded in the End Zone:
And Here's Williams, who spits out some jets for fun:
The jets were untalented and undisciplined: for the second time this season, the jets imposed fines over 100 yards, the only NFL team to do so , But do not worry – Gases is not embarrassed:
Adam Gases: "This is the NFL. This shit can not embarrass you. " #Jets
– Connor Hughes (@Connor_J_Hughes) November 3, 2019
That should be him Gases is a well-known obsessive madman who is proud to be longer and harder than the competition too Gases has also repeatedly asked players in his team to endure injuries, including an offensive lineman who had to undergo surgery at the end of the season, but only take painkillers and that Gases seem to believe that his team can now win and have asked their players to sacrifice their long-term physical well-being for hypothetical victories and they are losing to a team whose management is trying to lose The Jets are trying to win and get the same results as a tank team, and that's a lot worse, at least the dolphins in a good position to be successful in the future. The dolphins build up again; The jets are stupid enough to believe that their dungheap is a building.
If you lose against the team that fired you, it's the equivalent of an ex who realizes how happy they are in their current relationship, and then against a team that fired you trying to refuel the equivalent of a single who realizes how happy they are not to be in the relationship they came out of. No, the Dolphins are not doing much right now, but look how pathetic and sad and desperate and frustrating the gas-jet relationship is. Being single may be difficult at times, but it's better than being in a relationship that requires 100 percent effort and no chance of success.
Loser: Baker Mayfield's Face
It all falls apart for the Browns, as the hot election before the season lost all their fourth consecutive hit and dropped to 2-6. Cleveland lost to the 2-6 Broncos on Sunday. Baker Mayfield and the Cleveland offensive were satisfied with four field goals and did not find the end zone by the fourth quarter.
Mayfield loses her hair because of the team's failures – in the truest sense of the word. Before Sunday's game, he went to the stadium with a beard that covered most of his neck and cheeks:
But when he entered the field, he had a confusing Fu Manchu mustache:
And he stood on the podium for a press conference with just a simple mustache.
I am so confused by Mayfield's decisions. Did he bring a shaving kit to Denver and put that shaving kit in the stadium, or do most NFL changing rooms offer shavers for players? Why did he feel the need to shave between the arrival at the stadium and the season? Did he think that he would do better with Fu Manchu? And why did he feel the need to shave between the game and his pusher again ? Did he know that the Fu Manchu looked damn stupid, especially after a defeat, and wanted to look more normal in front of the press?
It did not work – at the end of the day, Mayfield looked like an overworked detective who was repeatedly outwitted by the criminals he was trying to catch, and just realized he was playing his football one day a month Son forgot comes with his children.
But I know that Mayfield can not keep up with that. At this time of the season, there is not much to lose – both in terms of Brown's hopes for the season and Mayfield's mustache. Even more trimming and he has nothing left.
Winners: Fast Food Sponcon
NFL players are paid for what they do on the pitch – but if they handle things properly, they can also be paid for the Things they do on the field if you catch my drive.
Take Stefon Diggs, who was wearing studs to celebrate the return of Popeye's hugely popular roast chicken sandwich to warm on Sunday. (He was not allowed to wear them during the game because they did not match the Viking uniforms.)
Deshaun Watson went one step further. After fitting 22: 28 at Jacksonville's 26: 3 win against Jacksonville, he credited the Popeyes sandwiches with the healing of his eye:
Watson's commentary made no specific sense. First of all, this question had nothing to do with Popeyes – how did he turn that conversation from his health to chicken? Second, how exactly have chicken sandwiches helped to heal his eye? I love Popeyes and I feel terrible after I have eaten it. I would definitely not attribute any improvement to my physical health to Popeyes. In addition, Watson says he ate the sandwiches this week which makes no sense because Popeyes reintroduced the sandwich on Sunday. And the game was played in England and the team has been abroad since Friday and there is no Popeyes franchise in England. Did the Texans get access to the sandwiches in advance and took them to the charter plane overseas?
But as a forerunner in surprise food: Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon, who used the introduction of Sunday Night Football to claim that he was "Body built by Taco Bell":
Usually players use this slot to indicate their college name, which of course has been over the years by players who claimed that they have visited the Ball So Hard University or Wakanda Tech, playfully optimized. (The Fighting Rhinos hope they finally win their big rivalry with Wakanda U.) Judon did not even try to reach the format. I guess Judon, Taco Bell was a college, which, frankly, applies to many people. (It was a tough moment for anyone from Judon's alma mater, Grand Valley State, who hoped his Division II program would finally resume in the most-watched game of the week.)
Judon is a longtime Taco Bell fanatic – Prior to the 2016 NFL draft, he said he was thinking outside the box and using his first NFL paycheck on Taco Bell. ("I'll have more money than I can do," Judon said, "but while I think about what to do with my money, I eat a chalupa.") Taco Bell, pay the man! Judon has earned enough money to buy Taco Bell for a lifetime – since it's impossible to eat more than $ 15 in a session, it seems like $ 7,000.
Winner: The Cincinnati Bengals
Sunday Each of the NFL's two winless teams has won a victory. The Dolphins literally won and hit the jets to get to 1-7. You will feel great for the players of Miami. It is obvious that the dolphins fill up as an organization – but while the front offices can refuel, the players keep trying. You have to – their work depends on it. Can you imagine everyone in the league talking about how your team is trying to lose as you play away every week and play as hard as you can? Can you imagine playing as hard as possible every week and still losing every week because you are just not good enough? It has to be brutal and the Dolphins celebrate Sunday's victory as if it meant the world to them:
The Bengals have not won a match yet, but it's hard not to see their bye week as a victory. After all, they are alone at 0-8.
There is still a lot to do – the Bengals play against the Dolphins in week 16. If Cincinnati wins and both teams finish the season 1-15, the Dolphins get the # 1 pick in the draft due to their low strength of the schedule. But in the NFL tank war, the Bengals are now closest to the finish line.
Winner: Sunday afternoon in the Washington area
We sit at our desks all day and get some money to enjoy the weekend And then we sit on our sofas all Saturday watching college football, and the All Sunday we sit on our sofas and look at the NFL. We should get out and enjoy life – and Washington interim coach Bill Callahan is here to help.
Callahan was promoted to head coach four games ago. Since then, Washington has played the three fastest games of the year: a 9-0 defeat by the 49ers, which lasted 2: 36, a 19: 9 defeat by the Vikings, which lasted 2: 39, and a 24-9 defeat on Sunday to the bills, which lasted 2:40. No other team played a game with a shorter playing time than 2:49.
Washington keeps the clock running and does not play around. There were 34 combined incompleteness in their three fast games and 181 running games. Callahan has challenged only one game in the three games and has only used three of his six available time outs on Sunday. Fortunately, there are no touchdowns in Washington, eliminating the entire sequence of points celebration, additional advertising, and commercial launch that devours six minutes in the lives of all.
Washington fans can clear their dates on Sunday afternoon with a win over the Dolphins 1-8. But even when they feel compelled to watch, Callahan's commitment to fast, rich lives can lead them to a fulfilling life. indescribable losses. The fans have time to take a nap after the game, clean the garage and really enjoy the Sundays.
Maybe your team won an exciting second field goal on Sunday – but who really wins here? You who spent four and a half hours sitting on the edge of your seat while your blood pressure shot through the roof, or the Washington fan who took a loved one to dinner for a nice refreshing sleep before he started work week on the right foot ?
Winner: Nick Foles
Minshew Mania may be over. After the massive boom of the mustache industry and the introduction of a million Halloween costumes, the reality begins. On Sunday, Gardner Minshew II had the worst start in its roller coaster rookie season, throwing two interceptions and losing two fumble in 26: 3 defeats.
Trust me – these are two separate interceptions, though they look exactly the same.
The poor performance is badly timed: Nick Foles, who signed a $ 88 million contract in the off-season and broke his collarbone when he hit a touchdown on the season's second Jaguar ride, was headed for Jacksonville Be healthy bye week. Head coach Doug Marrone said he would consider a quarterback change over the course of bye week.
Honestly, this is the ideal scenario for Foles. Foles always had problems when he was the quarterback of choice. But if Foles is a backup that comes from nowhere to make a team grow? He is a king. All Foles needed was for a random sixth-round pick to become an NFL folk hero and the most beloved man in all of Duval to make his return more triumphant.
Congratulations to everyone out there: Today was your Super Bowl and you won.
On Sunday, 12.5 percent of NFL's quarterbacks were Allen's. Josh Allen has been drawing Buffalo on the first round of last year's draft since most of the time on the top of the Bills quarterback table. Kyle Allen started for the Panthers since Cam Newton suffered an ankle injury in Week 2. And after Joe Flacco had a neck injury, Brandon Allen is the starter for the Broncos, at least until the injured rookie Drew Lock is ready. As far as I can tell, they are just the second trio of NFL quarterbacks with the same last name starting at the same time – Brad Johnson, Rob Johnson and Doug Johnson were occasional starters at the same time in the early 2000s. It was the biggest day for quarterbacks of the same name since Week 17 of the 2016 season, when six matts started at QB.
All three Allen came through. Josh threw for a touchdown and ran for another in a straightforward win over Washington: Kyle threw a pair of touchdowns in Carolinas 30-20 victory over the Titans: And Brandon, in his first career NFL game, threw two touchdowns and led Denver to 24 points that were undecided for their season high:
The Johnsons have never been so synchronized – Doug was only 2: 9 starter and none of his career wins came on the same day as a Rob win.
Congratulations to Allen Allen – Allen Robinson, Keenan Allen, the other Josh Allen, Ray Allen, Allen Iverson, the whole troupe. Let Woody out. No congratulations for him.
Winner: Ray Finkle
Prior to the season, Indianapolis Colts star QB Andrew Luck retired abruptly. Sunday, her support, Jacoby Brissett, suffered a knee injury. They are also without their top wide receiver, T.Y. Hilton. And yet at the moment her biggest problem seems to be … the biggest kicker of all time. With the support of Brian Hoyer, who was signed a few days before the season, the Colts had almost beaten the Steelers Sunday. But for the second time this season, they lost to Adam Vinatieri, the team's 46-year-old kicker, who ran out of gas at the end of a Hall of Fame career.
In Week 1, the Colts lost in extra time after Vinatieri missed two field goals (including a 29-yarder) and an extra point in the roster. Just under two minutes behind the Steelers, the Colts Vinatieri lined up with a 43-yarder and sent a dying fart across the field goal net to keep footballs out of the crowd:
Vinatieri has a mitigating factor: owner Rigoberto Sanchez turned the shoelaces of football in the direction of Vinatieri.
In this case, the foot of the kicker beats on the bumpy shoelaces instead of on the clean face of the ball and leads to irregular kicks as in Vinatieri. (Well, usually less unpredictable than Vinatieri's, but still unpredictable.) Random fans know that the shoelaces are supposed to be away from the kicker, from the plot of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective as the fictitious Dolphins kicker Ray Finkle vows to kill Dan Marino for failing to properly capture football on a misstake that ruined his career. It seems that this year there has been a rash of badly held balls – in recent weeks, the Patriots and Texans have left the shoelaces on missed field goals. I can not recall a situation as big as on Sunday, in the a kicker his team cost a game because he had to kick the wrong side of football. Justice for Finkle!
Loser: Darrell Bevell's Goal Line Offense
Lions Offensive Coordinator Darrell Bevell has been a decent NFL coach for over a decade. He led four top-ten offenses, two teams that led the league in quick touchdowns, and two teams that led the league in temporary touchdowns. But for most NFL fans, his name evokes memories of one thing: the time when the Seahawks moved from the 1-yard line in Super Bowl XLIX instead of giving Marshawn Lynch the ball and losing a game.
Sunday, Bevells Lions made a similar decision in a situation that is much less. Detroit prevailed 31-24 against the Raiders with a quarter-final from the 1-yard line – one game, one yard for the game. We all know what game they should play – a quarterback sneak. They always work. Matt Stafford is a big boy! Let him put it in!
But for Detroit, the simple stuff was not the simple stuff. Detroit has done a great job this season – Kenny Golladay's 59-yard TD pass on Sunday was the fourth over 40-yard pass the Lions passed and took them to second place behind the Chiefs. A goal from close up is more difficult. They have only scored two quick touchdowns this year, both from Kerryon Johnson, who is likely to miss the season. Their best finish line seems to be left to Marvin Jones Jr., who had a 2-yard touchdown on Sunday and has three of his five touchdowns from a distance of less than 5 yards. Lions did not go to Jones. They did not opt for a QB sneak. They did not run with the ball and did not throw the ball to their second best or third best receiver. In fact, there were not even wide receivers in the field. The Lions came out in a jumbo set and played an action pass for Logan Thomas, who has a touchdown reception for the career in six seasons.
It's a bit unfair to point out that Thomas only has one TD catch in six seasons – Thomas started his career at quarterback and moved to a tight end in 2017. In addition, Thomas caught the pass, which brought Detroit to 1: 1. Yard line. Still, do not you design a win-and-lose game to defeat a converted quarterback?
Throwing was not necessarily a bad idea – as I said earlier, the Lions were successful in getting Jones to the goal -go situations. It was not necessarily a bad idea not to have a single powerhouse anymore – in this scenario, you should really be able to gain 1 yard on the ground. But what they actually did was completely ineffective. The run-down threat was not particularly convincing for the Raiders, who stared Stafford in the face as he tried to get the pass. And the jumbo packet left the Lions with their worst recipients in the field. They were caught between two decent ideas and ended up with the worst elements of each.