Do you have a Viking experience? I bet they'll be attacked yaaaaaa …
… Um. I'm sorry.
I'm feeling raw or hit right now. There are some acts and moments that totally hit me. Everything the Usos do, for example, is fantastic. I love what Lacey Evans does to foil Becky Lynch. You can just keep going and spray everything that Sami Zayn does into my veins, thank you. The games, as always with this talent, are also great fun.
And I wanted to start this review with a huge, colossal miss … until I saw something that broke through the general sardonic stance I was breaking When I look at Raw, something that makes me giggle with joy in the end ,
Bray Wyatt … you crazy genius, you.
I'm a dodger for real thinking. If WWE says that any wrestler plays mind games, that's a failure. But when Wyatt makes a damned impression of Mr. Rogers and wears a chainsaw, does he cackle as he sees through a box of himself?
THING DING THING WE KEEP THE JACKPOT
Oh my god. I can not even oh dear god. I still laugh enthusiastically about this segment. It's such a catastrophic shift from what Bray has done in the past, and yet there will certainly be an element of uncertainty … Bray-Ness about the whole. He wears two gloves that say, for example, "HURT" and "HEAL". He talks about a buzzard doll and a Gothic witch doll, as if they were not … you know. Terrifying .
The key here will be the details, as it always had to be with Bray, and I really hope they get it right. Bray has always been a personal favorite of mine and I still can not get upset about the potential here ̵
YOWIE WOWIE! Let the Firefly Fun House begin!
Sami Zayn is a global treasure
You know how social media sometimes annoys? If you've been online before – and I have a bad suspicion that you're all occasionally visiting good old Interwebz – then I'm sure you've had a bad time with social media there. Sami Zayn now? He is the bad part of social media.
"Hey guys! Look how happy I am! I'm SUPER happy, you guys! Take a look at my cool trip to Switzerland! Check out my cool trip to Norway! Take a look at my cool trip to Mexico!
If the gratuitous treatment of my life was not enough better than yours, it is ALSO the poisonous part of social media. The "really" side of social media. The page "I never asked for your opinion and you give it" from social media. It's awesome. I love the guy and still he gets on my nerves. I grin about his antics while forgetting his antics.
Best of all, everything is a lecture with him, man. And yet … he never gives reasons. How are we guilty, Sami? Sami says he holds us accountable. Cool. What does that mean anyway? He's not trying to solve anything, he just says, "Ha, figured out, it's your fault, idiot!"
Sami Zayn is the best of Raw, and the only person who could challenge him at the moment, I'm scared, Bray Wyatt.
I think I hated that opening segment lately, I wanted to turn the channel until my mind reminded me that I was getting paid for those things.  It started with the comment team announcing the premise of the show: two threefold threats leading to a singles match, the winner receiving Seth Rollins at Money in the Bank.
Cool! Very Concise! Let's jump in! [19659020InsteadTripleHmadeafullappearanceSethRollinsafullperformanceandthentheywentthroughthewholething"We'relookingatWrestleManianowit'swild!"-thingeverysinglewrestlernowfortwoweeks19659022] And and then the two gave what the commentary to us, the spectators at home, had already said. And then all six challengers came out to deliver uninspired promos, followed by another uninspired one-liners from Rollins, who followed THEN with the realization that Triple H LITERAL's entry was in vain.  Do you have it all? Cool. I am already emotionally tested. And that's annoying, because in terms of wrestling both triple-threat matches were pretty great! In the first, Styles stormed Samoa Joe with a Styles Clash – a phenomenal finish. In the second attempt, Miz tried to beat Corbin and McIntyre until he was caught by Claymore and Cobin, who made a pin attempt for victory. Another good finish!
It's just … it's raw material, man. It's the bad stuff you inevitably get when you watch Raw. Anyway, AJ Style faces Rollins at Money in the Bank. That will rock.
Naomi def. Billie Kay – The match was shorter than the IIconics promo, and that makes it even funnier. Not even crazy.
Cesaro def. Cedric Alexander – If you need a sign of how unprepared WWE is with this shakeup business, WWE shot Cesaros as if he were in The Bar. Uh … he is not. Fix that.
With that said, fun matches without real engagements. I wish there had been something happening here to get that match down instead of showing Cedric at a loss.
Usos sleeps at The Revival – That's the right answer, Jimmy and Jey. Also the drinking and driving. Wooooooooo …
The Viking Raiders def. Lucha House Party – Now their finisher is called "Viking Experience". Ryder called her "hairy and horny" backstage, which is actually a better team name.
Becky Lynch def. Alicia Fox – I dug this segment between Lynch and Evans. I also liked how Lynch denounced the craziness of Evans boasting "Favor of Curries" last week. The first women's law looked funny, but in all it was good.
Robert Roode def. Ricochet – "Here is a video describing Robert's new name and new mustache."
* WWE shows a video that does none of these two things solid C show with a few short flicker from A +. Just give me a healthy dose of Bray Wyatt, Sami Zayn and Lacey Evans. My God, what a sentence.
Grade: C +
It's your turn, Cageside. The comment section is a safe place. All you have to do is … let me in.